Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize