the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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