Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
