bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
