i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
