Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
