so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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