youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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