I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
