Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
