Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
