ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
