Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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