How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
