Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
