You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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