He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
