youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize