i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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