i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
