What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
