Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
worst night to have a conscience
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Alive.
So much puke
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize