I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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