Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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