It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I could make wine with my vomit
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
