I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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