So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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