I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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