i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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