You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
