Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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