Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
