just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
