We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize