The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
