The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
