walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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