If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
