my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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