He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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