I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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