I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
