I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
