the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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