What did we do last night that was yellow?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
