Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize