yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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