I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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