like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
