thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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