good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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