he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
