It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
