If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn