Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions