ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.