Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet