It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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