MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize