even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
