Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I AM VODKA MAN
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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