....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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