he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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