everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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