xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
