Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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