I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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