Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
